Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
