booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
so we were having anal, both very very drunk when he started shouting his roomates name
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
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We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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