We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Just walked into your room to get my clothes and he's still passed out in your bed. Remind me to high five you when you get home
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
He ate me out while I finished season 1 of Stranger Things. If that's not a modern day relationship goal, then I don't know what is.
Randomize
