I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
Randomize