Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
Make sure you wash your hands. That seagull you threw was very sick.
Randomize
