what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Randomize
