last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
