Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
