Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He got the life proof phone case so he could jack off in the shower without his wife knowing
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
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