the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
