Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
Randomize
