i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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