We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
Fighting the police is like screwing a fat girl, if I'm drunk enough I'll do it
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
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