Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
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