Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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