Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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