that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
i can't decided whether the fact that her nipples are bigger then her palms is a problem or not
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
