So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
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