It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize