ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
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