what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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