$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
