Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
Randomize
