No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Tequila shots with cinnamon and orange write it down before I forget
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Do you remember unrolling paper towels as a blanket?
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
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