If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
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