But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I had to smuggle a street sign attached to a 14ft long pole out of my house this morning. The list of reasons for me not to drink just keeps getting longer.
Dude what the fuck...
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Randomize
