I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize