You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
