So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
Randomize
