then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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