dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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