Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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