Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
There's a quesaritto in the oven. Neither of us have been to Taco Bell in 3 weeks.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
