The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
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