On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
just saw a girl who had one of those monogrammed backpacks... her initials are VAG. is this a sign?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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