Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
