sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
Randomize
