i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
