He uses pillows to masturbate.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
Randomize
