you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
