Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
she doesn't hate you. She just thinks you need a personality adjustment, speech therapy and weight watchers.
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
There are eight sets of guys I've made out with who have the same name. It's like noah's ark in my mouth.
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Randomize
