Is it normal to miss your booty call?
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Randomize
