i jhust puked up my retainher.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
