sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
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