worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
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