I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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