everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
I wanna get so drunk next week I throw up on a guy's genitals. I want to be that memorable for someone.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
Randomize
