I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
the raccoons are back...
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