you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
Drunk Tina signed up to be part of the crew team and got a text from the captain telling her there's practice tomorrow. Wtf
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
Randomize