it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I'd cum for enchiladas.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
