i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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