i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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