Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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