im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize