there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
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