didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
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