Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
sarcasm needs its own font
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's get the cat blown out
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize