I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
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