I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Someone signed my nipple.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
