Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
