i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
third nipple confirmed
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
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